Apocolocyntosis Sect. 13

Claudius was delighting in his praises, and was wanting to watch for a while longer. Talthybius of the gods placed his hand upon him and drug him away through the Campus Martius with his head muffled up, lest anyone could recognize him, and between the Tiber and the Via Tecta he descended to the dead. His freedman Narcissus had come before on a shortcut to receive his patron, and glistening as he was from the bath, he met them coming and said: "What brings gods to men?" Mercury said, "Quickly, announce that we come." Faster than the spoken word Narcissus flew away. Everything was sloping, he descended easily. And so, although he was gouty, in a moment of time he came to the door of Dis, where Cerberus--or a Horace says "the hundred-headed beast"--was laying. He was a little bothered--he was accustomed to have a white dog among his pets--as he saw that black, hairy dog, surely not the sort you would want to meet in the shadows, and said in a loud voice, "Claudius has come." With applause they came forth singing: we have found him, let us rejoice. This was Gaius Silius the designated consul, Iuncus the praetor, Sextus Traulus, Marcus Helvius, Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius, and Roman knights whom Narcissus had ordered to be led off to punishment. There was in the middle of this crowd of singers the pantomime Mnester, whom Claudius had made lesser as a cause of glory. They came to Messalina--a swift rumor crept forth that Claudius had come*: the first of all his freedmen Polybius, Myron, Arpocras, Amphaeus, Pheronactus, all whom Claudius has sent forth, so that nowhere would he be unprepared. Then two prefects Iustus Catonius and Rufrius Pollo. Then his associates Saturninus Lusius and Pedo Pompeius, and Lupus and Celer Asinius the consuls. Lastly the daughter of his brother, the daughter of his sister, sons-in-law, fathers-in-law, mothers-in-law, all clearly of the same blood. And with a line having been formed they met Claudius. When Claudius had seen them, he exclaimed: everywhere is full of friends! He said, "How did you come here?" Then Pedo Pompeius: "What did you say, most cruel man? You ask how? For who sent us here other than you, murderer of all your firends? Let us go to court, I will show you the judges' seats here.

*This entire section is of a very fragmentary quality. The manuscripts are lacking and in the particular version I am using most interpolations are spared for fear of casting a wrong light on anything. So apologies if this section is hard to read.