Apocolocyntosis Sect. 15

For as often as he was about to send them from the resounding dice-box,
either dice was fleeing from the empty bottom.
And when he dared to send forth the recollected dice,
similar to someone always about to play and always seeking dice,
they deceived his faith: the deceitful dice fled and slipped through
his fingers themselves in continuous slyness.
Thus when now the peaks of the highest mountain are touched,
the weights turn from Sysyphian neck in vain.

Suddenly Gaius Caesar appeared and began to seek Claudius for his servant; he brought forth witnesses, who had seen him being flogged by: whips, canes, and fisticuffs. It was adjudged to Gaius Caesar; Aeacus gave Claudius to him. He gave him over to his freedman Mnander, so that he could be a secretary for hearings.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 14

He lead Claudius to the tribunal of Aeacus: he was questioning with the lex Cornelia which was brought about concerning murderers. He sought that his name be received; he gave forth in a subscript: 35 senators killed, 221 Roman knights, as many others as sand and dust. Claudius found no advocate. At last Publius Petronius came forth, an old friend of his, a man learned in Claudian tongue, and sought an advocate. It was not given. Pedo Pompeius accused him with great shouting. Claudius' guardian began to want to respond. Aeacus, a most just man, opposed, and condemned him with the other side having been heard and said:“Right will be done him if he be treated as he treated others.” [trans. by Allan Perley Ball] A great silence was made. All were stupefied having been stunned at this new occurrence, they denied that this had ever been done. It seem to Claudius more unfair than new. It was disputed for a long time concerning the type of punishment, what he ought to suffer. There were those who were saying that Sisyphus had done his portage long enough, that Tantalus would perish of thirst unless they helped him, sometime the miserable wheel of Ixion ought to have the brake put on. It was pleasing to none that remission be given from old punishments, lest Claudius ever hope for the same. It pleased them to decide a new punishment, thinking out a pointless labor for him and appearance of some hope without effect. Then Aeacus ordered him to play dice with a bored-through dicebox. And already he had begone to seek the always fleeing dice and to accomplish nothing.

Summer Plans

I have been trying to construct a summer plan of attack/intensive language review to: 1) cement my groundedness in both Latin (composition and translation) and Ancient Greek (in preparation for tackling some of The Odyssey in the fall); and 2) build vocabulary and cultural understanding of the languages. I feel that if I don't keep up with some intensive study, my progress in the languages will fall back on itself and I'll be sad come school time again when I have to spend too much time puzzling out translations. My Latin has grown a lot this year (to the point where I can sight-read 90% of anything classical), and my Greek has only just begun.

So here it is in all its grandness:

June 1st - July 31st [61 days]

Translation of my reader on Latin Letters: MWFS 30-45 min
North and Hillard's Latin Composition: ALL 30 min
Thrasymachus Greek Textbook: SunTRS 30 min
Hansen and Quinn Intensive Greek Course: ALL 1 hour

I have decided to give myself two hours pretty much everyday to solely work on languages. On top of that however is keeping up with my growing list of flashcards to cement my vocabulary in both languages. I use Anki for my Latin vocab, but had a little trouble with polytonic Greek characters being read, so I'm going the good ol' fashioned route and using paper cards. The plus side to this is that I can sneak these into work and review during the slow times (which is all the time excepting weekends).

I feel a busy summer coming up. Stay tuned for the rest of Seneca's Apocolocyntosis. Sorry for the lack of commentary but I left my Yellow and Green Apocolocyntosis on campus and have resorted to using thelatinlibrary.com's version.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 13

Claudius was delighting in his praises, and was wanting to watch for a while longer. Talthybius of the gods placed his hand upon him and drug him away through the Campus Martius with his head muffled up, lest anyone could recognize him, and between the Tiber and the Via Tecta he descended to the dead. His freedman Narcissus had come before on a shortcut to receive his patron, and glistening as he was from the bath, he met them coming and said: "What brings gods to men?" Mercury said, "Quickly, announce that we come." Faster than the spoken word Narcissus flew away. Everything was sloping, he descended easily. And so, although he was gouty, in a moment of time he came to the door of Dis, where Cerberus--or a Horace says "the hundred-headed beast"--was laying. He was a little bothered--he was accustomed to have a white dog among his pets--as he saw that black, hairy dog, surely not the sort you would want to meet in the shadows, and said in a loud voice, "Claudius has come." With applause they came forth singing: we have found him, let us rejoice. This was Gaius Silius the designated consul, Iuncus the praetor, Sextus Traulus, Marcus Helvius, Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius, and Roman knights whom Narcissus had ordered to be led off to punishment. There was in the middle of this crowd of singers the pantomime Mnester, whom Claudius had made lesser as a cause of glory. They came to Messalina--a swift rumor crept forth that Claudius had come*: the first of all his freedmen Polybius, Myron, Arpocras, Amphaeus, Pheronactus, all whom Claudius has sent forth, so that nowhere would he be unprepared. Then two prefects Iustus Catonius and Rufrius Pollo. Then his associates Saturninus Lusius and Pedo Pompeius, and Lupus and Celer Asinius the consuls. Lastly the daughter of his brother, the daughter of his sister, sons-in-law, fathers-in-law, mothers-in-law, all clearly of the same blood. And with a line having been formed they met Claudius. When Claudius had seen them, he exclaimed: everywhere is full of friends! He said, "How did you come here?" Then Pedo Pompeius: "What did you say, most cruel man? You ask how? For who sent us here other than you, murderer of all your firends? Let us go to court, I will show you the judges' seats here.

*This entire section is of a very fragmentary quality. The manuscripts are lacking and in the particular version I am using most interpolations are spared for fear of casting a wrong light on anything. So apologies if this section is hard to read.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 12

While they descended along the sacred way, Mercury asked him, what that gathering of men signified, surely it was the funeral of Claudius. And it was of the greatest beauty and with all care expended, that you clearly would know a god was being buried: such a gathering of trumpeters, horn-blowers, such a crowd of every kind of brass-player, that even Claudius could hear. All were happy, laughing: the Roman people walked as if they were free, Agatho and a few pleaders were weeping, but clearly from the heart. The consults of the law came forth from the shadows, pale, slender, scarcely having their minds, just as those who so recently came back from the dead. From these one came forth, when he had seen the pleaders placing their heads together and bewailing their fortunes, and said: "I was telling you: it will not always be Saturnalia." As Claudius saw his funeral, understood that he was dead. For a funeral dirge was sung with a great large chorus:

"Pour forth weeping, give forth your lamentation,
let the Forum resound with sorrowful wailing:
a beautifully witted man died
than whom no other was braver
in all the world.
That man could conquer the swift
in a swifter course, That man could
rout the Parthian rebels, and follow the
Persians with light weapons, and bend the
string with determined hand, he who could pierce
headlong enemies with a small wound, and the
painted backs of the fleeing Mede.
That man ordered the Britains beyond
the known shores of the sea
and the Brigantae with sky-blue shields
to give their necks to Romulus' chains
and he ordered Oceanus himself to tremble
at the new justice of the Roman axes.
Bewail the man, than whom no one
could more quickly judge a case,
with only one part heard,
often even neither. What judge now
will listen to misfortunes all year?
He now gives way to you with his seat left behind,
you who gave justice to the silent people,
holding a hundred Cretan towns.
Gore your chests with sorrowful hands,
O Case-pleaders, you cheap race.
And you new poets mourn,
and you who gathered a great profit
in the beginning with the dice-box shaken."

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 11

Behold Jupiter, who rules for so many years, broke Vulcan's leg alone, whom

"seizing by the foot he tossed from the heavenly threshold"

and was angry at his wife and hung her up: surely he killed? You killed Messalina, whose great-great-uncle I was equally as yours. "I don't know," you say. May the gods do bad things to you: so much fouler this is that you do not know than that you killed. He did not cease to follow the dead Gaius Caesar. The former killed his father-in-law: the latter even his son-in-law. Gaius forbid the son of Crassus to be called Magnus. This man returned that name to him, and took his head. In one house he killed Crassus, Magnus, Scribonia, no race of Assaracus, nevertheless noble people, Crassus truly is so stupid, that he too can reign. Now you want this man to become a god? Behold his body body with the gods being angry. To sum, let him say three words quickly, and he may lead me as his servant. Who will care for this god? Who will believe in him? While you make such gods, no one believes you are gods. The some of thing, honorable fathers, if I have borne myself honestly among you, if I have responded to none too clearly, vindicate my injuries. I vote this as my wisdom:" (and so he recited from a tablet) "Since indeed the Divine Claudius killed his father-in-law Appius Silanus, his sons-in-law Magnus Pompeius and Lucius Silanus, the father-in-law of his sister Crassus Frugus, a man so similar to him as egg to egg, the mother-in-law of his sister Scirbonia, his wife Messalina and the rest of which the number cannot be brought forth, it is pleasing to turn my self against him severely, and not to give him exemption from the right of being judged, and to carry him out as soon as possible, and that he leave the sky within thirty days, Olympus within the third day." They went to their feet at this judgement. And with no delay, Cylennius drug that one with his neck bent to the dead,

"whence they say no one returns."

Percy Jackson and the Seeming-Rip-Off-Which-Became-Something-So-Much-Better

I just finished reading "The Last Olympian" today, having only purchased it yesterday. For the uneducated, it is the fifth (and final for now) book in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians book series by Rick Riordan, and let me tell you what a wonderful adventure it holds. Upon my first venture into Percy Jackson's world, I was appalled by the seeming plot device for plot device and stock character for stock character copying from the famous Harry Potter book series. Seriously, the first book reads like an ad-lib of the "Sorcerer's Stone". But as I delved further into the series, I began to appreciate the books in a way that I never appreciated Harry Potter.

I began to see the important differences that convinced me this was not some cheap knock-off capitalizing on the success of the boy wizard, but a fitting homage to Greek and Roman literature. It acts as a vessel through which children can learn of all the famous character that we classicists have come to know and love. Riordan's imaginative casting of these mythological peoples is astounding in the sheer brilliance of it all. He managed to take 3000 year old tales and move them to a modern setting all the while making all of it make sense within the context of modern American society. From the waterbed salesmen Procrustes to the Bronx dialect of the pegasi, all the characters took on a very different personality from Harry and his adventures. I especially loved the depiction of the gods and the nod to lesser known and lesser recognized gods (namely Hestia). And the little bits of Latin and Ancient Greek spouted by the half-bloods add to the fine attention to detail and further cement their place in a modern context.

It is a series that is short enough to digest without investing a huge amount of time, yet also one that is completely worth all the time put into it. I can only hope that the popularity of the series leads to a revival of sorts in an interest in Classics which seems to have wained so much in recent times. I highly recommend reading the books to anyone who has the ability. I've tried not to spoil or say too much here, so forgive me if I have given away anything important.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 10

Then the Divine Augustus rose up on his turn for speaking his opinion and spoke with the highest eloquence: "Honorable patrons," he said, "I have you as witnesses, from which time I was made a god, that I have given no word on my behalf: always I go on my own business. And I cannot disguise myself anymore and no longer can I contain my grief, which my shame makes heavier. Was it for this that I sought peace on earth and sea? Was it for this that I held the civil wars in check? For this did I found the city with laws, decorate it with works, so that--? What should I say, honorable patrons, I find nothing: All words are beneath my indignation. And so I must flee towards that wisdom of Messala Corvinus, a well-spoken man: "I am ashamed of the empire". This man, honorable patrons, who does not seem able to rouse a fly, killed people more easily than a dog squats. But why do I speak of so many such men? There is no vacancy for me examining domestic tragedy to weep over public misfortune. And so I will omit the latter and bear back the former: for if my ankle does not know, I know: the knee is nearer to the shin. That one whom you see, hiding for so many years under my name, brought me this grace, that he killed the two Julias my great-grandaughters, one with iron, the other with hunger; and he killed my own great-great-grandson Lucius Silanus: may you see, Jupiter, whether it was a bad cause, certainly it was yours, I you are going to be equal. Tell me, Divine Claudius: why did you condemn any of these people, whom you killed, before you knew their cases, before you heard their cases? Where is this accustomed to happen? It does not happen in the sky.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 9

At last it came into Jove's mind, that, with the private citizens delaying in the Curia, the senators not be allowed to give their opinion nor debate. "Honorable senators," he said, "I had given you permission to ask, you have made pure shambles of things. I want you to save the discipline of the Curia. This man, whatever sort he is, what has he reckoned about us?" With that man dismissed Father Janus was asked his opinion first. He had been designated afternoon consul on the Kalends of July, a man who, however far his own path goes, always sees both forwards and backwards at the same time. He spoke in such great discourse, because he lived in the Forum, that the secretary was not able to follow and therefore I cannot relate, lest I put down in other words what was said by him. He said many things about the greatness of the gods: that this honor ought not be given to the masses. "Once," he said, "it was a great thing to become a god: now you have made a Bean farce. And so, lest I should seem to speak against his person and not against this situation, I vote that no one after this day may be made a god from these people, who eat the fruit of the soil or from these, who nourish the grain-giving soil. Any who will have been made, depicted, or said to be a god contrary to this decree of the senate, may he be given to the hobgoblins and at the next show it is pleasing to flog him with canes among the new gladiators." Next Diespiter was asked his opinion, the son of Vica Pota, and himself a designated consul, a little money-changer. He sustained himself in this business: he was accustomed to sell little citizenship perks. Hercules came pretty close to him and touched his earlobe. and so in these words he elected: "Since Divine Claudius touches even the Divine Augustus in blood and no less his grandmother the Divine Augusta, whom he himself ordered to be deified, and since for a long time surpassed all mortals in wisdom and since it is the opinion of the Republic that there be someone who can 'devour burning radishes' with Romulus, I vote that Divine Claudius be thusly made a god from this day as any before him has been made on in better judgement, and that this matter be added to the Metamorphoses of Ovid." There were many opinions, and Claudius seemed to have won favor. For Hercules, who saw that his iron was in the fire, was running first here then there and was saying: "Don't grudge me, my cause is being driven; then if you want anything, I will do it in turn: hand washes hand."

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 8

...It is no wonder why you have made an attack into the Curia: nothing is closed to you. Only tell us what sort of god you want him to become. He cannot be an Epicurean god: he has no problems himself nor does he give some to others. A Stoic god? How can he be "round" as Varro says, "without a head, and without a foreskin?" There is something in him of a Stoic god, now I see it: he has neither heart nor head. If by Hercules, he has sought help from Saturn, whose month he celebrated all year as Saturnalian king, he would not have brought it. Is he to be led a god by Jupiter, whom, however much there was certainly in him, he condemned of incest! For he killed his son-in-law Silanus. "I ask, why?" Because he desired to call his sister, the most celebrated of all girls, whom everyone else called Venus, Juno. "For why, I ask," he said, "his own sister?" Study, stupid: it is allowed half-way at Athens and all the way at Alexandria. Because you say, "At Rome mice lick the millstones". Will he correct the crooked for us? What he did in his bedroom I do not know and: now "he scrutinizes the zones of the sky". He wants to become a god? Is it not enough that he has a temple in Britain, where now barbarians care for him and as he were a god they say to happen upon a merciful fool?"

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 7

Then Hercules said, "Hear me, stop being a fool. You have come here where the mice gnaw iron. Quickly tell me the truth, lest I shake the dumbness out of you." And with which he was more terrible, he donned the tragic mask and said:

"Set forth immediately by what abode you say your origin,
lest having been slain by this trunk you fall towards the earth:
this club has often murdered savage kings.
What now do you sound with the uncertain utterance of your voice?
What fatherland, what race brought up your mobile head?
Speak! Certainly seeking the far-off kingdom
of the triform king, whence I brought forth the noble herd
from the Western sea to the Inachian city,
I saw a ridge hanging over two rivers,
which Phoebus always sees with his opposing ascent,
where the vast Rhone flows in a rushing current
and the Arar, hesitating where it drives its course,
silent it washes upon the shores with quiet shallows.
Is that land the nurse of your spirit?"

This he said boldly and courageously enough, by no less he was not of his own mind and he feared the blow of a fool. Claudius, as he saw the strong man, forgetful of his trifles, knew that no one was equal to him in Rome, in that place he did not have the same grace: a rooster has the most power on his own dunghill. And thus as much as he could be understood, he seemed to say this: "I hope that you, Hercules the strongest of the gods, would be present for me before others, and if any had asked me for a noter, I would have nominated you, who have known me best. For, if you look back in memory, it was I who used to speak the law before your temple on all days in the months of July and August. You know how many miserable people I brought together there, when I heard pleaders day and night. If you had fallen into that, however strong you seem to be to yourself, you would have preferred to cleanse the sewers of Augeas: I drained out more shit by far. But since I want...

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 6

And he would have imposed upon barely cunning Hercules, if Fever had not been there, who alone had come with him with her shrine left behind: she had left all the other gods at Rome. "That man," she said, "speaks pure lies. I, who have lived with him for so many years, say this to you: he was born at Lugudunum, you see a municipate of Munatius. That I say to you, he was born at the sixteenth milestone from Vienna, a full Gaul. And thus because a Gaul ought to do it, he seized Rome. I relate this to you that he was born at Lugudunum, where Licinus ruled for many years. However you, who have trampled on more places than any long-distance mule driver, ought to know that there are many miles between Xanthus and Rhodanus." At this point Claudius grew red and was angry with as much a murmur as he could muster. What he said no one understood. He however was ordering Fever to be lead away. With that gesture of his loose hand, with which he was accustomed to behead men, firm enough at this alone, he had ordered that her neck be cut off. You would think that all were his freedmen: so much did no one care about him.

Apocolocyntosis Sect. 5

It is superfluous to relate what happened on earth afterwards. For you know it well, and there is no danger that those things which imprinted on public joy will be forgotten: no one is oblivious to his own fortune. Hear what happened in the sky: faith will be in the power of the author. It was reported to Jove that a certain man of good stature, nicely grey-haired had come; that he was threatening I don't know what, for he continuously moved his head; and that he dragged his right foot. It was reported that the messenger had asked him of what nation he was: and that Claudius had responded I don't know what with a perturbed sound and confused voice; and that the messenger did not understand his tongue: for it was neither Greek nor Roman nor of any known race. Then Jupiter ordered Hercules, who had wandered through the whole globe of the world and seemed to know all the nations, to go and to explore of what kind of human he was. Then at first sight Hercules was wholly disturbed, as a man who fears not all monsters. When he sees the appearance of a new race, the unaccustomed gait, the voice of no earthly animal but the sort accustomed to be for sea beasts, hoarse and tangled, he thought that his thirteenth labor had come for him. Claudius seemed to him examining more diligently as if a human. And so he came up to him and because it was easiest for the little Greek man, he said:

"What sort of man are you and from whence do you come, what sort are your city and your parents?"

Claudius rejoiced that there were philological men there: he hoped that there would be some place for his histories. And so even in Homeric verse himself signifying that he was Caesar he said:

"A wind, carrying me from Ilium, brought me to the Cicones."

(However the following verse, equally Homeric, was truer:

"There I looted the city, and destroyed those people.)